Ed. note: The following post is scripted as a commercial. And, if you're offended in any way, please get over it. Thank you.
(fade-in: quick clips of raging fires, wars, hurricanes, George W. Bush, Wall Street, Famine, etc. Menacing music playing softly...)
Announcer (voice-over):
In a world gone wrong.
In a time with little hope.
Where do we go?
And to whom do we turn?
(Cut to the FOX logo with "Coming this fall" scrolled beneith...)
Announcer (voice-over):
Coming this fall to FOX...
(Cut to an aerial shot of a Malibu mansion on the side of a hill. Music changes from menacing to slightly more light-hearted...)
Announcer (voice-over):
In a Malibu mansion...
(Cut to a shot of a long white stretch limo driving up a winding driveway towards the camera...)
Announcer (voice-over):
One man will hold the answers
(Cut to close-up of rear door of limo being opened up by a driver. A sandled foot steps out onto the gravel driveway...)
Announcer (voice-over):
One man will change the world...
(Camera pans from sandled feet standing on driveway upwards, slowly revealing a white flowing robe, a thick twine of rope tied loosely around the waist, long slender fingers intertwined together infront of the man's chest. The camera raises further as the music builds to a beautiful harmonic pitch. A face is revealed, bearded and long, eyes looking towards the sky. The sun shines down from behind the man, giving a halo of light around his head...)
Announcer (voice-over):
The son of God...
(Screen shows shots of people emerging from cars pulling up infront of the house. Twelve people in twelve different cars, young and old, black and white, men and women. As the announcer speaks, the people line up side by side facing the front of the mansion. Nervous smiles and looks of amazement are shown across all of their faces as they wonder what they are about to take part in...)
Announcer (voice-over):
These twelve men and women were chosen from thousands of entries across the globe. They will live in this oppulant mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean. And they will tested on their will power and, more importantly, their faith...
(Screen shows screen shots of other names of shows...)
Announcer (voice-over):
From the combined creators of The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, The Surreal Life and every one of Flava-Flave's shows comes the ultimate reality show. A show that will test the limits of human compassion to win the ultimate prize...
(Screen shows the large double doors to the mansion slowly opening up and stunned gasps from the contestants as they see who walks across the threshold. Camera shows close-up of sandled foot stepping out onto the marble step as the name of the show spirals onto the screen...)
Announcer (voice-over):
The Rapture...
(Screen shows reactions from the contestants...)
(1st Woman):
Sweet Jesus.
(2nd Woman):
Oh my God.
(man):
Holy *beep*
(Jesus looks down from the steps, arms raised outward, smiling)
(Jesus):
Welcome one and all to my home...
(announcer):
These contestants will be fighting for their very souls and the winner will receive eternal bliss at God's side.
(fade-in: quick clips of raging fires, wars, hurricanes, George W. Bush, Wall Street, Famine, etc. Menacing music playing softly...)
Announcer (voice-over):
In a world gone wrong.
In a time with little hope.
Where do we go?
And to whom do we turn?
(Cut to the FOX logo with "Coming this fall" scrolled beneith...)
Announcer (voice-over):
Coming this fall to FOX...
(Cut to an aerial shot of a Malibu mansion on the side of a hill. Music changes from menacing to slightly more light-hearted...)
Announcer (voice-over):
In a Malibu mansion...
(Cut to a shot of a long white stretch limo driving up a winding driveway towards the camera...)
Announcer (voice-over):
One man will hold the answers
(Cut to close-up of rear door of limo being opened up by a driver. A sandled foot steps out onto the gravel driveway...)
Announcer (voice-over):
One man will change the world...
(Camera pans from sandled feet standing on driveway upwards, slowly revealing a white flowing robe, a thick twine of rope tied loosely around the waist, long slender fingers intertwined together infront of the man's chest. The camera raises further as the music builds to a beautiful harmonic pitch. A face is revealed, bearded and long, eyes looking towards the sky. The sun shines down from behind the man, giving a halo of light around his head...)
Announcer (voice-over):
The son of God...
(Screen shows shots of people emerging from cars pulling up infront of the house. Twelve people in twelve different cars, young and old, black and white, men and women. As the announcer speaks, the people line up side by side facing the front of the mansion. Nervous smiles and looks of amazement are shown across all of their faces as they wonder what they are about to take part in...)
Announcer (voice-over):
These twelve men and women were chosen from thousands of entries across the globe. They will live in this oppulant mansion overlooking the Pacific Ocean. And they will tested on their will power and, more importantly, their faith...
(Screen shows screen shots of other names of shows...)
Announcer (voice-over):
From the combined creators of The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire, The Surreal Life and every one of Flava-Flave's shows comes the ultimate reality show. A show that will test the limits of human compassion to win the ultimate prize...
(Screen shows the large double doors to the mansion slowly opening up and stunned gasps from the contestants as they see who walks across the threshold. Camera shows close-up of sandled foot stepping out onto the marble step as the name of the show spirals onto the screen...)
Announcer (voice-over):
The Rapture...
(Screen shows reactions from the contestants...)
(1st Woman):
Sweet Jesus.
(2nd Woman):
Oh my God.
(man):
Holy *beep*
(Jesus looks down from the steps, arms raised outward, smiling)
(Jesus):
Welcome one and all to my home...
(announcer):
These contestants will be fighting for their very souls and the winner will receive eternal bliss at God's side.
(screen shots of contestants taking part in chosen battles: following special written instructions to turn water into wine, building a fan to part the waters of the backyard swimming pool, revealing their deepest sins in the confessional booth.)
(Shot of woman contestant in the confessional booth. Floating crosses of assorted sizes and styles floating in the background behind her)
(Woman contestant):
I'm a born again Christian. My entire life is devoted to serving Christ.
(Shot of same woman in the kitchen of the mansion slamming a frying pan down on the countertop. Other contestants stand around looking in her direction, obvious signs of arguing permiate the room.)
(Same woman contestant):
Don't *beep* with me people or I will slice you up, fry you and serve you to the homeless!!
(Shot of same woman contestant back in confessional booth, looking into the camera and smiling.)
(Woman Contestant):
I am very into my volunteerism and charities.
(Multiple shots of contestants in different forms of challenges.)
(Announcer):
Each week is a different challenge and each week a contestant must be banished from the mansion until only one remains...
(Shot of Jesus holding a wafer.)
(Jesus):
This is my body. Will you eat me?
(Shot of each contestant as the announcer speaks each word)
(Announcer):
Who.....will....be....saved....
(Shot of Jesus)
(Jesus):
You are banished from this house...
(Shot of male contestant in the confessional booth)
(Male contestant):
There ain't no way I'm spending 7 years during The Tribulation without taking some of these bitches down with me.
(Aerial Shot of mansion)
(Announcer):
This fall on fox... The Rapture...
(Shot of FOX logo)
(Announcer):
Save the date...
(Fade to black)
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