Another Sign of Middle Age ...

When did The Gap turn into the generation gap?

I used to think I was hip to all things around me; new technology, lingo, television shows, music, pop and movie stars. Now, I'm slowly realizing that I'm becoming my parents, spouting out lines like "When I was your age..." and "Back in the day we actually had to walk across the room to change the channel..." I am keeping a full bottle of pills by my side for the day I yell at some kid, shaking my fist high in the air and calling him a young whipper-snapper.

I went to the movies the other evening to see War of the Worlds. I was excited about this movie ever since seeing the first preview during the Super Bowl. I was at the Post bar with a bunch of people and I fell into a silent awe at the sight of mahem and destruction on the screen. Then, when the title appeared at the end of the commercial, I turned to my friend, Mike (who wore the same fascinated expression on his face), and we both uttered at the same time: "We are soooo there!"

I always liked the original version, as campy as it was, and I suspected this newest sci-fi would be completely turned around and loaded with so many special effects that there would be nothing similar between it and the original except for the title. I was therefore glad to hear that the storyline for this version was even going way back to H.G. Wells' novel from nearly 100 years ago.

When I arrived at the movie theater, the earlier show was letting out and I listened to the verbal reactions of those who were exiting. I was saddened to hear comments like:

"I can't believe that's how it ended...."
"That was the stupidest movie I've ever seen...."
"They should've ended it this way...."
"Tom Cruise shoulda blown those things outta the sky...."

What saddened me about those comments was the fact that they were coming from people who were recently allowed, by law, to purchase alcohol. They not only had no clue as to the actual story, but they have probably never even heard of H.G. Wells. They probably thought that The Time Machine, out a few years ago, was also an original storyline, or something stolen from an episode of Star Trek, the Next Generation (and I bet they have no idea where "the next generation" even comes from).

The Posiedon Adventure is being filmed and will be out next year. I am really looking forward to this, since the original is one of my all time favorite movies...

"Where the devil did you come from?"
"From my cabin, Sir. Robin Shelby?"
"Master Shelby, you've picked a particularly strange time to visit. These waves don't bother you?"
"I've surfed up to 18 feet, but these look more like 30."
"35 to be exact..."

Or the more classic dialog:

"Mike, I saw a young officer on deck the other day. And he looked pretty damn familiar."
"So? So he recognized you. So?"
"Well doesn't that bother you?"
"If it bothered me, I wouldn't have married ya."
"Well first you arrested me 6 times!"
"Well I had to figure out some way of keeping you off the streets 'til you married me!"

And the abuse poor Shelley Winters had to take:

"Well I'm going next. That way when old fat-ass gets stuck, I won't be caught behind her..."

The remake (due out next May) will feature an entirely new set of characters. Unfortunately no fat old former swimmers, no teenage girl with a deep crush on her priest, no washed up hooker trying to better herself while keeping a forked tongue and spitting out some of the best one-liners to hit the big screen. The cast includes: Kurt Russell, Josh Lucas, Emmy Rossum, Andre Braugher, Jacinda Barrett, Richard Dreyfuss, Kevin Dillon, Jimmy Bennett, Mike Vogel, Freddy Rodríguez.

I've gotten way off track with my ranting here, but I just wanted to make it clear and to let these young folk know that Harry Potter was not the first movie to be made from a book. Take the Poseidon Adventure. Next year's release is a remake of a movie orinally released in 1972, which in turn was made from a book published in 1968, which (and many people don't know this) was written based on an 11 minute movie made in the early 20th century and was viewed by 2nd class passengers aboard (believe it or not) the Titanic.

But of course these young whipper-snappers these days probably think the Titanic was actually no more than something written for Leo DeCrapio.

Shit!!! Where are those pills???!!!