Friday, July 29, 2005

Ho-Hum ...

I'm bored shitless and I'm going through some of the other blogs on here (just the ones where the writer's actually saying something, not those who's blogs are nothing more than dozens of links on how to treat that unsightly rash beneith your balls.

Anyway, when I first started writing here, I was under the impression that I should be telling stories or some such shit. My story-telling is not too shabby and several people have told me to try and take these postings to the next level and actually put something down on paper. I don't think I've reached that plateau just yet, but damn it would be a fantasy-come-true to be able to wake up whenever I open my eyes, roll out of bed, sit down with a big cup of java and my friends, Blanche, Dorothy, Rose and Sophia, until I decide to sit down at the computer and write a little ditty about something that I believe has significant meaning in my fucked up life. Continue writing until my fingers ache from tappin' on the keyboard (or until I'm parched), then head off to the watering hole for some liquid energy and a few bills in the poker machine. All the while, some high-falootin' New York City publishing agency is sending me checks to support the lifestyle to which I have become accustomed. Coffee, Golden Girls, smokes, writing, beers, poker... day in and day out...

I guess, looking at it down in text, it could get pretty boring, but not nearly as boring as some of the posts I've been reading from other bloggers. Granted, I'm not saying my writings have the ability to pull you into my world like the demented and torturous storytelling of Stephen King, or the finger-me and touch-me-there-ooooh-I'm-hot-now style of Jackie Collins, but come on. At least with most of what I've written, I've written for a reason and there is a purpose. There's also a beginning, middle and end to what I've said. Some of the things I've written about were funny as shit, while others were alittle more serious in its topic, but with all of them, I've opened myself up a little bit more each time, allowing you, the reader, whether a close friend or a complete stranger half a world away, into my head and my life with each post. I'm not exactly proud of some of the things I've written and I wish I could talk about things that I've done or travels that I've made, but I lead a very boring life, all around. Still, some of these other bloggers...

"Today, my coffee tasted like almonds and I thanked my wife for the special treat, since I usually don't like her coffee and I tell her often on how to make it correctly..."

--HEY BUDDY!!!! Clue yourself in! The taste of almonds is ALSO a sign of cyanide poisoning!

"Saturday. Me and Buddy and Amy went down to the Bijiou to check out the new marqee. Buddy says that it's not new, but me n Amy thinks it is..."

HUH?!?!?!?

I guess it's just my bitterness shining through again. Maybe I should just be like my old Cheech & Chong 8-track and talk about how I spent my summer vacation. (background chatter from the infamous "Sister Mary Elephant" skit)

On the first day of my summer vacation...I woke up.
Then I went down-town to look for a job...
I did not find a job...
So I hung out infront of the drug store...

On the second day of my summer vacation...I woke up.
Then I went down-town to look for a job...
I did not find a job...
So I hung out infront of the drug store...

On the third day of my summer vacation...I woke up.
Then I went down-town to look for a job...
I did not find a job...
So I hung out infront of the drug store...

On the forth day of my summer vacation...I woke up.
Then I went down-town to look for a job...
I found a job...
Keeping kids from hanging out infront of the drug store...

Exciting, huh?

FUCKIN' YAWN!!!!!!

3 comments:

bricotrout said...

WHEW! i read through all your examples of boring blogs and did not find anything i had posted. thanks for the non-reference!

Chris said...

LOL...nah, I actually made up those quotes from the blogs I posted. But you get my drift here!

Anonymous said...

your writting is just as boring ...if not more so,,, than most other blogs i've been reading. don't start patting yourself on the back yet :|