Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Unbeatable Little Hair ...

Now, before I begin this little rant, let me first say that I know I'm not the only one who has fallen victim here. I've seen it on others (both strangers and friends) so I know it's fairly commonplace.

It's common knowledge that, when people reach a certain age, hair begins to appear in areas where it really shouldn't; back, nostrils, fingers, ears (both in and around). In many cases, this is a time where men begin to understand what women must go through every day before they can exit their apartment. Clippers and razors are suddenly seeing more action than just maintaining the balls and crotch. There's no predetermined age when this begins to occur. Some men see it as early as their 20's while others don't fall victim to this menace until their late 30's and early 40's. Still others (a very small percentage) are blessed with never having to go out looking like Lon Chaney, Jr during his metamorphosis.

But there's one place on many men where a single hair sprouts like the first blossom rising up from the barren wasteland of grey ash left behind by a volcanic eruption. It takes root like a persistent weed and keeps returning no matter how many times you pluck it, even when you're convinced you've conquered it for the last time. And when you notice it on yourself, you begin to see it on others and you begin to ask why. Why, out of all the places hair grows on the body, do a vast majority of people suffer from this one little engine that could?

I'm talking about the single tiny hair that sprouts out of the center of the nose, just above the tip...

Go ahead...Check...I'll wait. Just rub your finger slowly up and down your nose. Some of you will definitely feel that hair you didn't think was there, and then you'll become obsessed with trying to yank it out. Those of you who don't feel it, just wait a few more years.

Now, once you've noticed it on yourself, you'll begin to see it on others, especially in profile; that determined little bugger calling out for attention. And when you do, please be kind and tactful. Let them know they have a visitor, but don't make a big deal about it. The truth, I've discovered, is that this little hair is like the relative that never leaves, but it must be controlled. I've actually dealt with people (mostly seniors) who's wives refused to say anything and this hair has morphed into something with it's own personality.

Don't let this be you!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for staging an intervention!

Do you think if I showed this post to my boyfriend he'd get the hint?

Darin said...

This is such a great Public Service Announcement. Take heed all ye who read!!

I've been trimming the pesky strays for years. Clearly it's the right thing to do.