Political chatrooms are a riot!!!
From the war in Iraq right on down to the round-the-clock death watch of Terri Shaivo and her family's bitter reality-tv show-like battle for her life, it has been reported time and time again how stories such as these have divided the country literally in half. No better place can this be found evident as in an AOL political chatroom.
The cast of characters found in a political chatroom are too many to mention, but they do fall into 3 simple classes: the Liberals, the conservatives and the whacked-out-super-Right-Wing-kill-the-world-because-they're-different-repent-before-Jesus-comes-a'callin-Christians.
Now, when I go into one of these chatrooms, it starts out to overcome complete boredom, but I end up getting pissed off at the stupidity being typed and the complete fascination at the fact that some of these people have the mentality to turn on a computer, let alone raise families of their own. I rarely go into these rooms to chat, but rather read, laugh and try and decipher the statements being tossed about.
No one in these rooms really have much of anything to say. I've come to the conclusion that the actual topic that brought you to the room is truly meaningless. The same three or four sentences are repeated over and over again by literally hundreds of chatters with nothing better to do than compare the size of their dicks with one another. The views are all over the board and, more often than not, so far-fetched you start to wonder if the state mental hospital is aware of the fact that their patients are tapping into the computer systems when they should be weaving baskets.
The Liberals are Bush-bashing and saying he should be impeached. They sit at home infront of their televisions, eagerly waiting for the next body count so they can run into a chatroom and announce to the world that Bush's actions have killed another soldier. The Conservatives are Liberal bashing. And when they can't find anything to bash on a Liberal in a chatroom, they'll fall back on their old stand-by, Slick Willie, and the infamous stained blue Gap dress event. At times, I wonder if these conservatives are just jealous because their viagra hasn't kept their weakened dicks up for 8 years like Bill's. It's apparent that they seriously think Bill spent every waking hour for eight years fucking interns and any television appearance made by him was actually a double (since Bill was fucking non-stop). The Liberals blame bush for 9/11, the Conservatives blame Clinton....or Hillary....or Kennedy....or Barney, the Dinosaur. The one thing I've come to learn about the hard-core conservatives is this: if they can't figure out the reason for a problem, they'll travel back in time and pick any one person, place or event, and construct their own warped timeline that will lead to something that happened 20 years later. It's 6 degrees of separation all over again...
Why aren't they blaming Kevin Bacon for 9/11? After all, he did star in Footloose with John Lithgow, who was in 3rd Rock from the Sun with Jane Curtain, who played Kate in Kate & Allie with Frederick Koehler, who played a prisoner in the cable show Oz and was seen in nothing more than a baggy pair of underwear, which is the same thing Saddam Hussain was photographed in, who is supposedly connected to Osama Bin Laden who claimed responsibility for bringing down the Towers..... So, ultimately, shouldn't we condemn Kevin for more than just making bad movies?
And let us not forget the ultra high and mighty Christians (cue the angels singing). Who do they blame? Everyone! But it doesn't matter to them who's to blame because the Rapture is right around the corner and if you're not ready, according to them, you'll be left behind to fight for your very existence under the wicked power of Satan. You will spend your years fighting for attention and look to be forgiven in a world that has turned wicked upon you, until the ultimate battle between good and evil is staged and the 2nd coming is upon us! (again, cue the angels)... In the meantime, they'll continue paying their $19.95 a month to hang out in a chatroom and threaten the lives of any homosexual or non-believer who crosses their path. Somehow, they think that, by going to church every Sunday and washing their hands before each meal and after pissing, they are considered "saved" and as long as they say Christ's name at least once a day, then every thing else they say, do or feel towards another person, no matter how self-centered or racist or biggoted it may be, is just "doing the work of the Lord".
Oh CHRIST!.... (ooooooh..lookie...I'm saved!...)
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