Next on Fox: "When Good Karaoke Goes...." Wait...Is There ACTUALLY Good Karaoke? ...

First there was Kinky Quizzo, but that was cancelled (although I hear it's coming back in the fall sometime). Now The Post has joined several other bars across the country in an effort to let drunken talent shine. That's right! We now have Karaoke Thursdays!!!

Of course, to show my support, I attended this top notch, American Drunken Idol event. I mean what better way to enjoy a night out than to view the painful suffering of others? Or was it me who was painfully suffering?

Anyway, the first time they had it was last week. They set up the machine in the back bar (which is only open on Fridays and Saturdays) and it was a poor turnout. This past Thursday was the bartender's birthday so, seeing how much he detests karaoke, a group of guys decided to celebrate with a rich chocolate cake (from one of the best Italian bakeries in South Philly) and moving the fun up to the front bar where the poor bartender would have to suffer through an entire evening of slurred lyrics.

It turned out to be a halfway decent crowd when the first performer grabbed the mic. I can't remember what he sang (I think I blocked it out), but it wasn't very good. However, the next one up blew us away!

A very attractive woman, with short dark hair and wedged into a slinky black cocktail dress, her breasts standing at attention like the Royal Guard outside of Buckingham Palace, belted out a sexy, sultry, smoky rendition of Grand Funk Railroad's "Some Kind of Wonderful". She knew the song. She didn't look into the monitor. She performed like she was standing in some smoky New York lounge, swaying her hips to the music, sauntering seductively back and forth, guiding the mic cord behind her like a cobra rising out of a basket to the sound of her voice. Did she even know she was in a gay bar? Of course. But I can tell you, her moves would probably make Richard Simmons pop a tent in those little silk shorts of his. She had us screaming out for more and she kindly obliged later in the evening.

(simmer down, Brico - LOL)

Another friend got up quite a few times and sung some old classic tunes, mostly Led Zeppelin. His was a voice that shocked the shit outta me. He was hitting notes I couldn't come close to without being kicked in the balls. He had even sung the old stoner anthem, "Stairway to Heaven" and towards the end of the 15 minute song, when it reaches its crescendo... "And as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls..." he was hitting every note with suprising accuracy.

Again...we were all blown away.

Later, he and the sexy sultry lounge singer sung a duet: "Paradise by the dashboard light". Outside of a couple innocent flubs, since they've never even met before let alone sung together, their rendition was very well received.

My friends, M, O and J-F, after many a martini and coaxing, got up infront of the crowd and sung the theme song to "The Love Boat". They wanted to sing something, but J-F has such a deep (and sexy) voice that he said he was very limited to what kind of tune he could carry. Outside of laughing my ass off watching them, I stood off to the side and did my impersonation of Issac, the bartender, in the opening sequence of the old show.

But the creme de la creme of the evening was our own birthday boy, the bartender, who despises karaoke to the point where he watched some of the "more unfortunate" singers with the same shocked awe as stumbling across some skeletal remains during a hike in the woods. He finally got up there with the other bartender and sang Kiss' "Rock and Roll All Night". It brought tears to my eyes....quite literally. First of all, the other bartender really couldn't be heard outside of a few words here and there...but the birthday boy... Well, the only way I can accurately describe his singing would be to say that I felt he was suddenly fighting a losing battle with turret's. He would mumble through most of the song like the father in that old cartoon "The hillbilly Bears", but then shout out "Rock and Roll all night...and party ev-er-y day!!!!!!!"

All in all, it was a fun-filled evening and I'm looking forward to it again next week.

I guess, by now, you're all wondering how I did behind the mic...

Are you kidding??? My momma didn't raise no fool!!!

LOL just kidding....maybe next time...

Mi...mi...mi...mi...miiiiiiiiiiiiiii